Paul Dundon’s Weblog

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A little cheese and a little whine

Scooby Doo meets Bob Newhart

Hello? Yeah, Mike, this is the sheriff. What’s that, you need backup? Well, see, Mike, last time you called in for backup it didn’t turn out so well. You want to tell me what’s going on? You’ve arrested the Mayor. Okay. Mike, the Mayor is kind of an important guy. Why did you arrest him? Well, I’m sure he has done something really bad, Mike, but I’d like to know a little more. A property scam. Well, that sure does sound serious, Mike. Okay. Uhuh. You say all the people who’ve sold up and moved away from Winterhaven over the last few months, that was all the Mayor’s fault? I know he’s not the most popular Mayor we’ve had, but I don’t – oh, I see. The Mayor was making them move away. And how was he doing that, Mike? Uhuh. Hmm. Okay. So, let me get this straight. The Mayor wanted to buy up some property, so he got an engineer at the power plant to fake his own death… then dress up in a scuba suit… covered in electrical coils… so he could break into the plant and cause blackouts? Well, I guess that’s enough to give anyone a blackout. What’s that? He didn’t break in? Well, how did he get into the plant, Mike? It’s not like a man wearing a scuba suit doesn’t attract a little attention. What’s that you’re saying, Mike? The tunnel? The Mayor dug a tunnel from the pet store to the plant? That’s half a mile, Mike. Tell me – look, I don’t mean to be – have they changed your meds again, Mike? Oh, I’m sorry. You’ve got witnesses. They told you all about it? Who, Mike? The kids. The kids in the psychedelic van. And, er, how did the kids find out about it, Mike? Parrot? Is that a person, Mike, like a Mr Parrot? The kids found out about the Mayor because they interrogated a parrot. Okay, Mike – what’s that? The kids didn’t interrogate the parrot. Well, who did, Mike? Did you interrogate – it was the dog? The talking dog. Are you telling me the kids own a talking dog? They don’t own him, he just travels with them. I don’t really want to get into that Mike. Let me just get things straight. Some kids in a psychelic van come to you and tell you that their dog has interrogated a parrot and found out that the Mayor has dug a tunnel under half the town so an engineer who’s faked his own death can dress in a scuba suit and wreck the generators. Uhuh. Well, Mike, I think you should come back to the office. No, I don’t think you should bring the mayor. A flight risk? Are you talking about the mayor, Mike, or the parrot? No, no, I’m sorry, I am taking this seriously. You just get back to the office, and I’ll call Dr Baker. You and he can have a nice long chat. No, there’s no need to bring the scuba suit, Dr Baker will probably have a nice suit lined up just for you.

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Filed under: Humour

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My Bookshelf

The Golden Bough
The Value of Nothing
The Fire
A Wolf at the Table
Devil Bones

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